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Mar 15, 2012

TIDAK kataku




TIDAK kataku
Aku sudah bukan seperti aku 
Aku yang kukenal tahu apa yang diri mahu
Aku yang dahula bisa kata 'ya' pada sesuatu yang hati mahu
Aku yang dulu juga bisa kata 'tidak' pada yang hati sesak
tapi kenapa bukan kini
kenapa bukan pada waktu 'tidak' itu diperlukan
apa harus aku laku buat bibir lafaz kata hati
untuk lidah kata 'tidak'
tapi jika ikut kata rasa hati lain bakal retak
aku tak mahu dicemuh batunya hati
sayang diri biar orang sebak
ikut hati biar yang lain retak
tapi harus kugagahi
biar bibir turuti hati
biar hati selari bibir
'tidak' harus kubilang
harusnya lidah basah tak kelu
bibir terbelah ungkap yang terbuku
agar hati senang senyap membisu







To where it should have been.. here in Dublin :)


I’m breaking..Falling to pieces..
Shattered..
Yet I find no comfort..

still..
Not even from a graceful person; the womb of hers that carried

No one even collect me and put me back to where I should have been
I’m alive but barely breathing..

Feels like choking with my own wrongdoings
Allah, lead me the way..

The right path that You sealed for me
I resign myself to my fate…

following what comes in front

Something that I wanted the most can’t never always be mine
Something that I think I wanted the least might be the best of all
In this period of time the angst might be unbearable
But I do believe the flower will blossom in the garden of hope and faith..
It shall not wither by the seed of doubt..
Keep hanging on in there..
There always a place where it will grow ravishingly
Where it suppose to be..
Where it should have been...always..


..2255hrs,SUNDAY..
..syamin..

Mar 7, 2012

...

Do you ever feel like something is not right.. but you dont know what's the reason behind it?

Do you feel like wanting to talk to someone but then you realise that you dont have one than can actually do so?
……………..
and you scroll down your contacts, fb chats, skype and all social networks that you possibly have; trying to find one who can actually listen? then suddenly you realised why you have to scroll: searching if all are your friends?

You realised again that not all people around you, you comfortable with and most important willing to listen without judging or talking about their experience going through rough moments, which are not  helping seriously.

Do you ever feel like dont know how to start sharing our problems and suddenly you feel like you have zero in mind.. you dont know exactly whats your problem?

Its like you wanted to have some kind of machine that can telepath what's in your mind to one so that one can understand your mind n feelings..

I wish they have invented something like that..

I really…




really


need that..


Im bad in expressing my feelings.. my true feelings.. i just dont know what's the right word.. when's the right moment.. how to give the best expression.. i just know how to write..